Menu:

 
I will be playing at a dessert, poetry, and music night at a home in DC.  Thinking about playing some of my new originals!  Contact me for more information.
 
 
new poem/potential song--still more on the theme of tests and difficulties, this time with a focus on the rewards...




softness can be strength


tear out the scars
make room for
clean structure 
with integrity
soft strength 
in clarity

tear out my heart
re-weave veins
and arteries
built all new
soft strength
with receptivity

i don't know
i don't know
beautiful mantra

i don't know
i don't know
open to Your way

loving being
torn to pieces
loving Your 
gentle hands
molding me again
from clay of love

(scoop me out and fill me with)
pure love
make me new
pure love
make me You

(it's the pain of birth of)
pure love
made anew
pure love
made from You

pure love
make me new
pure love
make me You


 
 
My friend and fellow musician Elika Mahony visited my site the other day and pointed out that I haven't blogged in a while.  One reason is that recently I have been going through some mental/emotional/spiritual tests, and I didn't particularly want to broadcast my struggles to the world.  Now that I'm on the other side of this process (whew!), I thought I would try to share some of the fruits.

I recently met a lovely cellist named Jesse (that's a whole other beautiful story) who has as her email signature,

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?” ~ Khalil Gibran

I think this quote captures the essence of my recent experience, and I am grateful to have gone through this difficult time, as it stretched my heart to ultimately make room for more joy, peace, and certitude. 

I wrote a song during the rough period in an effort to release some of the pain.  I didn't finish it at the time, but tonight I filled in what was missing.  Despite the pain expressed here, I wanted to end the song with a note of hope, so I decided to sing one of my favorite prayers over the chorus at the end.  The prayer is by `Abdu'l-Bahá, and the words are: 

O God!  Refresh and gladden my spirit.  Purify my heart.  Illumine my powers.  I lay all my affairs in Thy hand.  Thou art my Guide and my Refuge.  I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being.  O God!  I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me.  I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life. 

O God!  Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself.  I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord. 

...and here are the lyrics to the song: 


Freedom of Choice 

my heart is burning
holes in my chest
my mind is churning
over this test

i wish i could
fast forward to when
this will all be gone

take the pain
i'll take the blame
take my heart
break me apart

take my soul
just make it go away
i can't go on

[chorus]
God don't make me choose
'cause either way, I'm sure to lose

my heart is breaking
in anticipation
with undulating
reverberation

shaking, making me
close in, to stop the din

i give in
i give in
i give in
i give in

take me

[chorus]

[chorus with Refresh & Gladden overlaid]